If you’re expecting your first baby — congratulations mama! If you’re not a mama yet, and hope to be one someday then stick around because this post may be for you! Here is my best advice for first time moms!
Being a second time mom, I’ve learned a lot about raising two girls close in age. I will admit that I’m definitely not a pro and that some days I’m just winging it. But I’ve realized that it takes a village, so I’m here to tell you a few tips that may be helpful for you.
Give Yourself Grace
Having a baby is a huge life change! When you bring home that sweet precious baby, everything changes! Going from 0 to 1 child was the biggest transition for my husband and I. At times, it was challenging in our marriage. We were new parents trying to figure out how to calm a fussy baby while being exhausted and overwhelmed!
Everyone goes through this at one point or another and it will only make you stronger parents. You and your new baby are learning to navigate feedings, wake windows, sleep schedules, diaper changes, and everything in between. Give yourself (and your husband) grace during this season of your life!
Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
When my husband went back to work, I struggled to ask for help because I felt like I could do everything myself. I didn’t want to burden others by having them change their plans to give me a hand with my new baby. When my baby turned one month old, I was completely exhausted and burnt out. I ended up asking my mother in-law (my parents live out-of-state) to come over because I truly needed the help.
I realized that it’s okay to receive help because it was necessary for my mental health. Take advantage of family and friends helping you out, whether that’s allowing you to go run errands by yourself or sleep in a little longer. They will love the baby cuddles and you can get a little break, it’s a win-win for everyone!
Also, if you have feelings of extreme sadness, anger, or shame then it’s okay to seek help and schedule an appointment to talk to your doctor. Speak up if you feel like have postpartum anxiety or depression. There are a lot of new postpartum changes with your body and hormones all while tackling breastfeeding and adjusting to motherhood. There’s no shame in needing help!
Sleep When Baby Sleeps
I know I know… this may be easier said than done. But it’s so important for your physical and mental health to sleep, because this is how your body heals and gets energy. Take advantage of your baby napping, to get some rest yourself especially during those first few weeks! I promise you will feel better when you get a little bit more rest. Have your husband be on baby duty and sneak into a quiet room to get more rest. Then, give your husband a chance to catch up on sleep if possible. When mom is well rested, everyone else is happy!
Be Patient
When you and your baby have had a tough day, know that it’s completely normal and it will get better! Everything in life is a phase… just know that the season you’re in doesn’t last forever. I promise you’re not alone! When I’m having a tough day I try to go outside and get some fresh air, whether that’s walking around the neighborhood or going to the park with my girls. Fresh air and sunshine is so good for your mental health. Ask God for patience and strength when you need it. I know I did and still do! Remember that this too shall pass and you will have better days!
You Know What’s Best For Your Baby
You will have family members and close friends telling you advice that may or may not be helpful. Most of them are coming from a good place and want to tell you everything you should know about being a first time mom. Just because it worked for them doesn’t always mean that it’ll work for you. And that’s okay! You will quickly learn that not all babies are alike.
Whether you decide to breastfeed, formula feed, or exclusively pump it is what works for you. Whether your co-sleeping with your baby or have them in their own crib, it’s what’s best for your family and that is okay. At the end of the day, you know what’s best for you baby.
Nap Time = “Me Time”
Finding time for yourself is important especially when you start to feel overwhelmed and tired. Being a new mom can be exhausting so having a moment to yourself will give you a chance to recharge! When that baby is finally asleep, it’s your time to regroup. If you’re exhausted, take a nap. The dishes and laundry can wait! This is your time to do whatever you want while you have a few minutes of peace and quiet.
Enjoy the newborn stage and take in those moments when your baby is still little. You’ll soon wish you could go back in time, and hold your newborn all over again.
Don’t forget to take lots of pictures and videos of your little baby, you can never have enough! Cuddle that baby as long as you want and enjoy the newborn smell, the coos, and those milk drunk smiles. Because time goes by way too fast!
You can follow my motherhood journey with my two little girls on Instagram at @_cathyjune
